Aspie affection dating
I am in high school and have been "talking" to/ dating an Aspie guy that also goes to my school for 2 months now. Before getting to know him, I knew he had aspergers but I just thought it made him shyer than most people. I have tried to research aspergers as much as possible and am aware of many of the symptoms. Since we have been talking he never meets me after classes or walks with me in the halls even when he has the opportunity to. He never texts me good morning or asks me how I am doing. We hang out a lot, but it's always at his house and I can tell he mainly wants to do physical stuff. When we are hanging out in a group of friends he barely talks to me. At first I enjoyed hanging out with him because he's a relaxed, funny guy but now I'm getting sick of his selfishness and lack of effort. I have told him many times that he needs to show me likes me with his actions but he has made little to no change. Should I just stop things with him? Also how much of this is his selfishness and how much of it is the aspergers? Please give me all the advice you can! Thanks!
i am suddendly everwhelmed by the fact that i could never have an emotional fulfulling relationship with my husband. Before we got married i noticed that there was something odd about his behaviour but at that time i had no term for it but i kept hoping and praying that he grow and realise how much he hurts me with his words and how lonely i am in this marriage.
Over the years i have called my husband selfish and self centred....etcetera but I kept hoping to see change or some improvements towards his level of attentiveness and understanding towards my feelings and emotional needs to be met. I have cried many tears and have explained myself thousands of times but the situation has not changed. And reading your ebook , what got out of it that i need to grow more understanding towards his condition and his personality type but how is this going to improve my situation, does this mean i should continue to be kind, understanding, patient and giving with chances of not getting anything back, my inner resources are running dry..... and I am scared!!!!
In few days , we will be celebrating our 4th year wedding anniversary which led me to evaluating our marriage, i am shuttered to say he has not grown and chances are, he will never grow and does this means i need to keep growing for both of us? I am in the point where i am embarrassed to introduce him to my friends as he either takes of to his little world, or say all the rude and inappropriate things under the sun. In many cases this results to me, either making excuses for his inappropriate behaviour and apologising on his behalf. I am tired and to hear that he might never change makes it very hard to accept.
Yesterday i asked myself if i was blessed with this marriage becuase i was suitably built for it or was it just curse designed to break me down slowly? I feel i do not have any more energy to do this again for the next 4 years and beyond. Unless a miracle occurs.
He is constantly belittling me and making me feel silly at home and in public sadly when i communicate these issues with him, he never seem to understanding my point of view.
When i introduced the thought that he might have aspergers, he seemed rather upset by it, i thought he would have taken sometime to read about but he hasn't, he thinks am being unfair by labelinghing him... it feels like i am the only one who would like to gain knowledge on this matter and work on things.
Looking back, from the time we got married his solution to every dificult situation we had ever faced was questioning me if i wanted a divorce or if I want return to South Africa(where I originated from,where I have the rest of my family, friends and everything that i have known for 22 years) he fails to appreciate how much I have left behind to be with him.
I have been wondering if I have left it too late as things have built up over the years... in saying that i know that i need to learn to forgive.
Overall i see myself continue slaving for this marriage and not archiving any emtional support and my feelings will continue to be mystery to him. So I honestly see my self sinking further into the darkness . Am I being insensitive here?
With everything i have said, I think its very important to say that I love my husband very much and would love for us to have a normal and happy marriage life. I would also like to add, with everything that happened between my husband and I. He has not given me a reason to doubt how much he loves me. I know that he loves me so much and I know that he would even die for me if he have to but it hurts that he can't communicate these feelings with me....
If he ever agree to get an assessment done, who should we contact- a psychologist or a pyscatrist?
I know i have said a lot, asked a lot of questions with double meaning but if you could please help me make sense of this whole thing.
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Aspie affection dating